Dora Dora Dora the Explorer!
I
bet you just sang that aloud to yourself, didn't you! I know I can't
read those words without singing them. My husband can't, either! One
of our favorite things to do together is reminisce fun moments when our
kiddos were little . . . and our oldest daughter's favorite show when
she was 3-4 years old was Dora the Explorer.
Dora is such a smart little gal, taking us on exciting journeys all over the world to solve problems. And she couldn't do this without the help of her handy dandy . . .
Dora is such a smart little gal, taking us on exciting journeys all over the world to solve problems. And she couldn't do this without the help of her handy dandy . . .
MAP!
"If there's a place you got to go
I am the one you need to know
I'm the Map!
I'm the Map!
I'm the Map!
If there's a place you got to get
I can get you there I bet
I'm the Map!
I'm the Map!
I'm the Map!
I'm the Map!"
(repeated multiple times)
I am the one you need to know
I'm the Map!
I'm the Map!
I'm the Map!
If there's a place you got to get
I can get you there I bet
I'm the Map!
I'm the Map!
I'm the Map!
I'm the Map!"
(repeated multiple times)
Isn't the map GREAT?! He really is the key to solving all of Dora's directionally-challenged problems.
In all seriousness, though . . . did you know that all of this Dora talk can be directly related to Marriage?
No kidding!
No kidding!
Sometimes
in marriage, we can't locate things right next to us . . . or rather,
the person by our side. We don't notice the treasure that our spouse
really is. There is a tool for us to notice and get to this "treasure" . . . and ultimately get to where we really want to go (ie.
"happily ever after," "paradise," "eternal life," "the Celestial
Kingdom")--It's called a map!
In fact, Dr. John Gottman, Ph.D. says we need a LOVE MAP.
A LOVE MAP is " . . . that part of your brain where you store all the relevant information about your partner's life." Couples that have a detailed LOVE MAP "are intimately familiar with each other's world . . . They remember the major events in each other's hisotry, and they keep updating their information as the facts and feelings of their spouse's world change"
(Seven Principles, p. 54).
In fact, Dr. John Gottman, Ph.D. says we need a LOVE MAP.
A LOVE MAP is " . . . that part of your brain where you store all the relevant information about your partner's life." Couples that have a detailed LOVE MAP "are intimately familiar with each other's world . . . They remember the major events in each other's hisotry, and they keep updating their information as the facts and feelings of their spouse's world change"
(Seven Principles, p. 54).
It can be a tricky thing though, right? Just as geographical maps need to be updated over time, so does a couple's LOVE MAP.
Life gets hard . . . challenges arise in marriage (job stress,
pregnancy, child-rearing, death, addictions, bad choices, just to name a
few), and couples need to be constantly "updating" their knowledge of
one another. Dr. H. Wallace Goddard, Ph.D says they can do this by
recognizing, focusing on, and pointing out their spouse's positive
qualities through their own thoughts, feelings, and actions (Drawing
Heaven Into Your Marriage, p. 44-45). When you're focusing on all the
little positive things, your LOVE MAP
becomes more detailed and beautiful. You increase your fondness and
admiration for your spouse. Dr. Gottman says that "Fondness and
admiration are two of the most crucial elements in a rewarding and
long-lasting romance" (p. 69).
I concur with this. I believe it. I KNOW it!
I love that my husband Jason knows our daughter's favorite old TV show, Dora the Explorer. I love that he knows all the words to its theme song and that he sings it with me when we reminisce those early days of our parenting years. I love that he knows which fork I like to use at mealtime and that he texts me sweet thoughts throughout the day. I love that I know which towel is his favorite to use and that he doesn't like vinegar in his homemade salad dressing. It's the little things that mean the most.
It's the backroads and winding streets have the best views and most scenic routes. And I can't imagine a better partner to be an "explorer" with on this adventure called life, than my best friend and husband (he's an even better explorer than Dora, and he's fluent in Spanish, too!).
I concur with this. I believe it. I KNOW it!
I love that my husband Jason knows our daughter's favorite old TV show, Dora the Explorer. I love that he knows all the words to its theme song and that he sings it with me when we reminisce those early days of our parenting years. I love that he knows which fork I like to use at mealtime and that he texts me sweet thoughts throughout the day. I love that I know which towel is his favorite to use and that he doesn't like vinegar in his homemade salad dressing. It's the little things that mean the most.
It's the backroads and winding streets have the best views and most scenic routes. And I can't imagine a better partner to be an "explorer" with on this adventure called life, than my best friend and husband (he's an even better explorer than Dora, and he's fluent in Spanish, too!).
One of my favorite quotes is by President Gordon B. Hinckley. He said:
"There seems to be a superstition among many thousands of our young who hold hands and smooch in the drive-ins that marriage is a cottage surrounded by perpetual hollyhocks, to which a perpetually young and handsome husband comes home to a perpetually young and ravishing wife. When the hollyhocks wither and boredom and bills appear, the divorce courts are jammed.
Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he’s been robbed. The fact is that most putts don’t drop. Most beef is tough. Most children grow up to be just ordinary people. Most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration. Most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. ...
Life is like an old-time rail journey — delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride."
"There seems to be a superstition among many thousands of our young who hold hands and smooch in the drive-ins that marriage is a cottage surrounded by perpetual hollyhocks, to which a perpetually young and handsome husband comes home to a perpetually young and ravishing wife. When the hollyhocks wither and boredom and bills appear, the divorce courts are jammed.
Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he’s been robbed. The fact is that most putts don’t drop. Most beef is tough. Most children grow up to be just ordinary people. Most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration. Most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. ...
Life is like an old-time rail journey — delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride."
So whether you are traveling through live via train ride, boat, car, plan, or even on foot,
remember to bring along your LOVE MAP. More importantly--pull it out and USE it. Hold onto it, refer to it, update it. Allow it to take you where God wants you to go -- back to Him as two explorers united hand in hand,
true eternal companions!
remember to bring along your LOVE MAP. More importantly--pull it out and USE it. Hold onto it, refer to it, update it. Allow it to take you where God wants you to go -- back to Him as two explorers united hand in hand,
true eternal companions!
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