turn
verb \ˈtərn\
verb \ˈtərn\
to cause your body or a part of your body to face a different direction
This is one of the definitions that my good pal Merriam-Webster gives for the word "turn."
I like it. I think it's a solid definition; simple and direct.
It indicates movement ("to cause . . . to face") and
change ("different").
I like it. I think it's a solid definition; simple and direct.
It indicates movement ("to cause . . . to face") and
change ("different").
What does Dr. John Gottman say about turning? He believes turning is so important that it is one of his 7 Principles for making marriage work (principle #3). He says, " . . . brief exchanges [are when] husband and wife are connecting--they are attuning by turning toward each other" (p. 87). Brief exchanges are the little moments, the mundane moments of life . . . visiting while eating a meal together, asking one another how the day went, putting down the phone when the other person is talking, accepting the offer (or request) for a hug or back rub. In other words, turning means you're intentionally thinking of your spouse. You're putting your spouse's needs before your own. Thus, you are changing and moving towards him/her.
What does God say about turning?
The word turn is used over 400 times in the scriptures, so He says a lot about it.
Zechariah 1:3 says, ". . . Turn ye unto me, saith the Lord of hosts, and I will turn unto you . . . " (italics added).
Joel 2:12 says, "Therefore also now, saith the Lord, turn ye even to me with all your heart, and with fasting, and with weeping, and with mourning" (italics added). And Alma 39:13 says, "That ye turn to the Lord with all your mind, might, and strength;"(italics added).The Lord wants us to turn to Him! He wants us to come unto Him and He will help us get rid of our selfishness, baggage, and weaknesses!
What does God say about turning?
The word turn is used over 400 times in the scriptures, so He says a lot about it.
Zechariah 1:3 says, ". . . Turn ye unto me, saith the Lord of hosts, and I will turn unto you . . . " (italics added).
Joel 2:12 says, "Therefore also now, saith the Lord, turn ye even to me with all your heart, and with fasting, and with weeping, and with mourning" (italics added). And Alma 39:13 says, "That ye turn to the Lord with all your mind, might, and strength;"(italics added).The Lord wants us to turn to Him! He wants us to come unto Him and He will help us get rid of our selfishness, baggage, and weaknesses!
But how does turning to the Lord fit in with turning towards our spouse in marriage?
In order to turn towards your spouse, you must first turn towards God.
I am a visual learner, so let me illustrate my point with the following diagram in a step-by-step format:
In order to turn towards your spouse, you must first turn towards God.
I am a visual learner, so let me illustrate my point with the following diagram in a step-by-step format:
Turning is a process. It's a lifelong process! But it starts with you turning towards God.
You get to choose if you will turn and MOVE towards Him.
You get to choose if you will turn and MOVE towards Him.
And the more you turn to Him, the more you will know yourself.
Then you will be prepared to know and turn toward your spouse. You'll also be able to implement all the tools that Dr. Gottman suggests, like focusing on bids for attention, and recognizing and pointing out the positive qualities in your spouse.
And then together, by continually turning toward God and one another,
then entire family will be able to
RETURN back to God.
Then you will be prepared to know and turn toward your spouse. You'll also be able to implement all the tools that Dr. Gottman suggests, like focusing on bids for attention, and recognizing and pointing out the positive qualities in your spouse.
And then together, by continually turning toward God and one another,
then entire family will be able to
RETURN back to God.
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