"Ugh, I am SO irritated!"
Sadly, I have uttered this exclamatory statement many times in my life. However, today is a new day that brings with it a paradigm shift and a chance for a fresh perspective for me regarding irritation.
Sadly, I have uttered this exclamatory statement many times in my life. However, today is a new day that brings with it a paradigm shift and a chance for a fresh perspective for me regarding irritation.
Irritation is a Blessing and a Curse.
A BLESSING:
"Irritation alerts us to the risk of blisters when we sense a pebble in our shoes.
"Irritation alerts us to the risk of blisters when we sense a pebble in our shoes.
In marriage, irritation serves the vital function of alerting us that something we are doing (or feeling, or saying) is creating a sore."
(Goddard, Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage, p. 75)
(Goddard, Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage, p. 75)
The shoe is your marriage. Your foot is you. The pebble is your negative thoughts, words, and actions about your spouse. Left inside your shoe, they will create a "blister" or "sore" (problems) that will grow larger until you no longer view your marriage as a good fit.
The good news is that you can take the pebble OUT of your shoe!
This happens when you repent. "Any time we feel irritated with our spouse, that irritation is not an invitation to call our spouse to repentance but an invitation to call ourselves to repent. We are irritated because of our own lack of faith and humility."
(Goddard, p. 69)
Irritation then can be a blessing as we recognize it as a personal call to repentance -- to change ourselves because that is the only person we have control over changing. And we need God's help to do the changing.
The good news is that you can take the pebble OUT of your shoe!
This happens when you repent. "Any time we feel irritated with our spouse, that irritation is not an invitation to call our spouse to repentance but an invitation to call ourselves to repent. We are irritated because of our own lack of faith and humility."
(Goddard, p. 69)
Irritation then can be a blessing as we recognize it as a personal call to repentance -- to change ourselves because that is the only person we have control over changing. And we need God's help to do the changing.
A CURSE:
The "natural man" (Mosiah 3:19) is an irritated one. Everyone else is the problem and inconveniences him.
"The natural man is inclined to love himself and fix others. God has asked us to do the opposite. We are to fix ourselves by repenting, and to love others."
(The Moral Inversion, Goddard, p. 62)
The "natural man" (Mosiah 3:19) is an irritated one. Everyone else is the problem and inconveniences him.
"The natural man is inclined to love himself and fix others. God has asked us to do the opposite. We are to fix ourselves by repenting, and to love others."
(The Moral Inversion, Goddard, p. 62)
If we do NOT focus on being a "celestial man," then our irritation will be a curse --
we will remain a natural man, and our marriages will suffer.
The amazing thing is that we get to CHOOSE . . . are we going to view irritation as a blessing or a curse? Will we succumb to our natural man tendencies and allow ourselves to be caught up in our pride by being irritated all the time ("curse")? Or will we choose to stop irritation at the onset and change OUR behavior ("blessing")?
I know I won't be able to think of irritation the same way again . . . I view it now as a blessed opportunity to be accountable for myself, to turn towards God and ask His forgiveness for MY weaknesses, and to view and love my spouse (and everyone!) unconditionally.
I know I won't be able to think of irritation the same way again . . . I view it now as a blessed opportunity to be accountable for myself, to turn towards God and ask His forgiveness for MY weaknesses, and to view and love my spouse (and everyone!) unconditionally.
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